![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rabid1stThis fic really contains very little info about the finale...if any. It is
speculative and I'm sure nothing like what will happen in canon.
Before reading this fic...it helps to know that there's a bit of
a debate out there in fandom land. Some people have
been hearing Lee say things under his breath during Season 2.5.
I've italicized the things people heard and given them context.
EPHEMERAL
By Rabid1st
A BSG Drabble
K/L...Lee P.O.V.
Spoilers for S2.5 to LDYB promo pics
Rating: R
Warning: This is a dark tale
Summary: What if the things we thought we heard Lee say this season…meant
something? What if the words spoken by people and all the odd things that
happened were part of a puzzle?
Disclaimer: All characters and situations belong the R&D
productions, SciFi Channel and others. I'm only playing with their
toys.
He was standing at the edge of a vast prairie, saying good-bye.
And then he wasn't.
There were clouds gathering overhead, a storm brewing. The wind
smelled of hard rain and newly turned earth. It whipped her hair
into her eyes. She clawed the strands aside and blinked away
stinging tears. They couldn't seem to let go of each other. He was
holding her hand, pleading with her to come home with him, back to
the metal ship. Like a child he was promising to be good and then…he
wasn't.
She took a step back and then another. But she didn't break free.
Her fingers were tangled up in his, as if they were rooted in each
other. Their arms stretched painfully, neither of them willing to
make this parting true. He couldn't let go. He saw the years in
front of them, their road forking into separate paths. He was
slipping away from her…and then…
He wasn't.
He wasn't there. She wasn't either. They were somewhere else. He
shuffled through his memories, looking for her.
He was in the rack, packing up to leave. She was perched on a
ladder. Only she wasn't. He could see right through her. But he
needed her to be there so he made it so.
"Are we okay?" she asked.
They weren't okay. He was lost or she was. And that couldn't be
okay. He looked down at her hand, clasping his. He looked up into
her eyes. A storm was brewing in them. He could smell the rain. He
wrapped his arms around her and whispered the only word he had for
what he felt.
"Forever."
The walls expanded. The ceiling rose. He was on the floor.
"Lee? Can you hear me, Lee?" his father asked.
He could hear but he couldn't breath. He tried to speak. "Closer,"
he said.
He wanted to be clear about this. He wanted his father to hear him,
to know, to help. Kara was somewhere near him now. He needed her to
know one thing. He could remember her face as he fell. She'd been
ghostly pale, her eyes staring at him, beseeching.
"I love her," he managed to mumble. His numb lips and the lack of
air made his voice a shadow of sound. "I've…always…known."
"That's good," his father said.
Why did it feel like betrayal? Like he'd let a secret out he should
never share?
There was no us, no them. Just him. He was standing near the doorway
of his barracks, cheeks burning from her slap, lips bruised by her kisses.
His ego flattened. His body aching. And then he wasn't.
He wasn't anywhere really. Life was rewinding around him. The floor
moved under his feet like a spaceport conveyor. The walls fell away
and then came back, closer or further away. The ceiling rose and
dropped and sprouted chandeliers.
Then even the ship disappeared and he was drifting through space.
There were stars all around him. And a bright white light, coming
closer…at first it looked like the sun and then like a crescent
moon.
"I'm sorry, Kara," he whispered, closing his eyes.
"It's okay," she whispered back. "I still love you."
She still loved him, would always love him. That was their secret.
Nobody could know. He had to remember not to say it out loud.
He opened his eyes and stared into the light. It was nothing but a
dream. All of it fading away. There was nothing outside his window
but the setting sun. Slowly it, too...faded. He was in his apartment
on Caprica. A cool breeze, redolent with the scent of rain and fresh
turned earth, stirred the curtains. Kara was straddling him, rocking
her hips and swaying to some inner music. He reached for her hands
and she interlaced their fingers, weaving hers through his. He
wanted to ask about Zak and the end of the world but he didn't dare
speak. It might break the spell.
She was here. She was.
He had to believe it because it was all he had left.
"People need this, Kara," he said.
Her eyes lit up and she collapsed forward until her bare breasts
pressed against his chest. Her hair tickled his cheek, her nose
brushed over his and she laughed that full, strong laugh he loved so
much. He had to embrace her, had to stroke the flat of his palms
over her, savoring her yielding softness.
His hands were free at last. Free to touch her. She was his. She
was. He could smell her on his skin like hard rain and fresh turned
earth, warm and wet and real. He could feel her clenching around
him, holding on. He was inside her. He was. He had nowhere else to
be.
He confessed his love over and over again, wondering why he'd never
said it aloud. It felt so good to say the words.
"I love you…I've always known…us…forever."
Life rewound. The floor and the walls and the ceiling moved. He rose and fell through the ranks. Captain. Lieutenant. Captain again. A major for three days and then a commander. He had his own ship. It was her ship really. Was it a vast beast or a black and broken bird? He couldn't be sure if there was a ship at all. Sometimes there were only stars. Her hand was at his back, guiding him, steering him. He'd lost the ship. His father would be so very disappointed. She would be disappointed, too.
Bullets penetrated his flesh. He couldn't breath. There were stars swirling
around him and a bright light. He choked back tears...anger...fear.
He was floating and she was sated. She kissed him one last time and
slithered free of his slackened grip. He was tired. So tired.
But Kara was there, standing near his window. The wind whipped her
platinum hair into her eyes. The moonlight burnished her creamy
skin. Lee watched her dress. As he stared at her, perfectly content
for a moment, her hips seemed to swell. Her toned contours lost some
definition. Her hair turned from gold to bronze. One moment Kara was there.
And then she wasn't.
She became a stranger, some nameless woman.
Lee sighed. There'd been so many women lately. He could barely tell
one from another. When this new woman faced him, he placed her. It
was the documentary reporter. Lee frowned in confusion, struggling
to remember her name. His mind tried to make her fit into his home
but failed. The walls fell away, the ceiling dipped low.
"He'll need another dose," the reporter said, focusing beyond
him, "Before he's ready for you. Remember love is the key. He has to
believe it."
Lee turned his head to see another reporter woman, a twin, standing
at his bedside. He twisted his head from side to side, looking from
one copy to the other. As the first dressed, the second one
disrobed. She took his hand in hers.
"You can't leave me," she said.
Lee didn't want to touch her. His skin crawled at the thought. He
tried to pull free of her grip but his wrists were restrained. When
had that happened? Frightened and confused, he glanced down his
body. He was naked, manacled to the bed frame. His apartment had
become a tiny cell. The earthen walls dripped moisture.
"No…no…"
He couldn't breath. His air was running out, seeping into space. A
ship full of metal men found him. He wanted to die but they wouldn't
let him. They kept bringing him back to this place.
She placed the muzzle of her gun against his shoulder. He tried to run,
despite all his training telling him to stay low, keep his head down. She pulled the trigger. A thousand needles pricked his flesh, delivering their sweet poison. He arched away from the pain, wrenching against his bonds.
"Poor Lee. Your life is so hard isn't it?"
"You mean, since I got shot?"
Her eyes filled with tears and he longed to take the words back, but
she was already turning away.
"Lee?" the cylon doctor said, "Can you hear me, Lee?"
He could hear but he couldn't speak, couldn't scream. All he had
were whispers. Somehow, wherever she was, Kara would hear him. He
had to believe that. As he fell, he could only stare at her as she
stared back at him. She was on her belly, guns cocked but not firing.
"Lee? Lee? Are you okay?" Her harsh tone softened as she sat down
next to him, squeezing close in the small space of his rack. "Are
you okay?"
"No, not really…"
He'd let her down again. This time he had to do better. This time he
would send her further away, find her someone else to love.
THE END
speculative and I'm sure nothing like what will happen in canon.
Before reading this fic...it helps to know that there's a bit of
a debate out there in fandom land. Some people have
been hearing Lee say things under his breath during Season 2.5.
I've italicized the things people heard and given them context.
EPHEMERAL
By Rabid1st
A BSG Drabble
K/L...Lee P.O.V.
Spoilers for S2.5 to LDYB promo pics
Rating: R
Warning: This is a dark tale
Summary: What if the things we thought we heard Lee say this season…meant
something? What if the words spoken by people and all the odd things that
happened were part of a puzzle?
Disclaimer: All characters and situations belong the R&D
productions, SciFi Channel and others. I'm only playing with their
toys.
He was standing at the edge of a vast prairie, saying good-bye.
And then he wasn't.
There were clouds gathering overhead, a storm brewing. The wind
smelled of hard rain and newly turned earth. It whipped her hair
into her eyes. She clawed the strands aside and blinked away
stinging tears. They couldn't seem to let go of each other. He was
holding her hand, pleading with her to come home with him, back to
the metal ship. Like a child he was promising to be good and then…he
wasn't.
She took a step back and then another. But she didn't break free.
Her fingers were tangled up in his, as if they were rooted in each
other. Their arms stretched painfully, neither of them willing to
make this parting true. He couldn't let go. He saw the years in
front of them, their road forking into separate paths. He was
slipping away from her…and then…
He wasn't.
He wasn't there. She wasn't either. They were somewhere else. He
shuffled through his memories, looking for her.
He was in the rack, packing up to leave. She was perched on a
ladder. Only she wasn't. He could see right through her. But he
needed her to be there so he made it so.
"Are we okay?" she asked.
They weren't okay. He was lost or she was. And that couldn't be
okay. He looked down at her hand, clasping his. He looked up into
her eyes. A storm was brewing in them. He could smell the rain. He
wrapped his arms around her and whispered the only word he had for
what he felt.
"Forever."
The walls expanded. The ceiling rose. He was on the floor.
"Lee? Can you hear me, Lee?" his father asked.
He could hear but he couldn't breath. He tried to speak. "Closer,"
he said.
He wanted to be clear about this. He wanted his father to hear him,
to know, to help. Kara was somewhere near him now. He needed her to
know one thing. He could remember her face as he fell. She'd been
ghostly pale, her eyes staring at him, beseeching.
"I love her," he managed to mumble. His numb lips and the lack of
air made his voice a shadow of sound. "I've…always…known."
"That's good," his father said.
Why did it feel like betrayal? Like he'd let a secret out he should
never share?
There was no us, no them. Just him. He was standing near the doorway
of his barracks, cheeks burning from her slap, lips bruised by her kisses.
His ego flattened. His body aching. And then he wasn't.
He wasn't anywhere really. Life was rewinding around him. The floor
moved under his feet like a spaceport conveyor. The walls fell away
and then came back, closer or further away. The ceiling rose and
dropped and sprouted chandeliers.
Then even the ship disappeared and he was drifting through space.
There were stars all around him. And a bright white light, coming
closer…at first it looked like the sun and then like a crescent
moon.
"I'm sorry, Kara," he whispered, closing his eyes.
"It's okay," she whispered back. "I still love you."
She still loved him, would always love him. That was their secret.
Nobody could know. He had to remember not to say it out loud.
He opened his eyes and stared into the light. It was nothing but a
dream. All of it fading away. There was nothing outside his window
but the setting sun. Slowly it, too...faded. He was in his apartment
on Caprica. A cool breeze, redolent with the scent of rain and fresh
turned earth, stirred the curtains. Kara was straddling him, rocking
her hips and swaying to some inner music. He reached for her hands
and she interlaced their fingers, weaving hers through his. He
wanted to ask about Zak and the end of the world but he didn't dare
speak. It might break the spell.
She was here. She was.
He had to believe it because it was all he had left.
"People need this, Kara," he said.
Her eyes lit up and she collapsed forward until her bare breasts
pressed against his chest. Her hair tickled his cheek, her nose
brushed over his and she laughed that full, strong laugh he loved so
much. He had to embrace her, had to stroke the flat of his palms
over her, savoring her yielding softness.
His hands were free at last. Free to touch her. She was his. She
was. He could smell her on his skin like hard rain and fresh turned
earth, warm and wet and real. He could feel her clenching around
him, holding on. He was inside her. He was. He had nowhere else to
be.
He confessed his love over and over again, wondering why he'd never
said it aloud. It felt so good to say the words.
"I love you…I've always known…us…forever."
Life rewound. The floor and the walls and the ceiling moved. He rose and fell through the ranks. Captain. Lieutenant. Captain again. A major for three days and then a commander. He had his own ship. It was her ship really. Was it a vast beast or a black and broken bird? He couldn't be sure if there was a ship at all. Sometimes there were only stars. Her hand was at his back, guiding him, steering him. He'd lost the ship. His father would be so very disappointed. She would be disappointed, too.
Bullets penetrated his flesh. He couldn't breath. There were stars swirling
around him and a bright light. He choked back tears...anger...fear.
He was floating and she was sated. She kissed him one last time and
slithered free of his slackened grip. He was tired. So tired.
But Kara was there, standing near his window. The wind whipped her
platinum hair into her eyes. The moonlight burnished her creamy
skin. Lee watched her dress. As he stared at her, perfectly content
for a moment, her hips seemed to swell. Her toned contours lost some
definition. Her hair turned from gold to bronze. One moment Kara was there.
And then she wasn't.
She became a stranger, some nameless woman.
Lee sighed. There'd been so many women lately. He could barely tell
one from another. When this new woman faced him, he placed her. It
was the documentary reporter. Lee frowned in confusion, struggling
to remember her name. His mind tried to make her fit into his home
but failed. The walls fell away, the ceiling dipped low.
"He'll need another dose," the reporter said, focusing beyond
him, "Before he's ready for you. Remember love is the key. He has to
believe it."
Lee turned his head to see another reporter woman, a twin, standing
at his bedside. He twisted his head from side to side, looking from
one copy to the other. As the first dressed, the second one
disrobed. She took his hand in hers.
"You can't leave me," she said.
Lee didn't want to touch her. His skin crawled at the thought. He
tried to pull free of her grip but his wrists were restrained. When
had that happened? Frightened and confused, he glanced down his
body. He was naked, manacled to the bed frame. His apartment had
become a tiny cell. The earthen walls dripped moisture.
"No…no…"
He couldn't breath. His air was running out, seeping into space. A
ship full of metal men found him. He wanted to die but they wouldn't
let him. They kept bringing him back to this place.
She placed the muzzle of her gun against his shoulder. He tried to run,
despite all his training telling him to stay low, keep his head down. She pulled the trigger. A thousand needles pricked his flesh, delivering their sweet poison. He arched away from the pain, wrenching against his bonds.
"Poor Lee. Your life is so hard isn't it?"
"You mean, since I got shot?"
Her eyes filled with tears and he longed to take the words back, but
she was already turning away.
"Lee?" the cylon doctor said, "Can you hear me, Lee?"
He could hear but he couldn't speak, couldn't scream. All he had
were whispers. Somehow, wherever she was, Kara would hear him. He
had to believe that. As he fell, he could only stare at her as she
stared back at him. She was on her belly, guns cocked but not firing.
"Lee? Lee? Are you okay?" Her harsh tone softened as she sat down
next to him, squeezing close in the small space of his rack. "Are
you okay?"
"No, not really…"
He'd let her down again. This time he had to do better. This time he
would send her further away, find her someone else to love.
THE END
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 01:45 pm (UTC)thanks.
Thanks for the lovely feedback
Date: 2006-02-28 04:58 pm (UTC)Alway happy to hear you are happy.;-D
Rae
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 02:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 04:19 pm (UTC)Thank you so much
Date: 2006-02-28 05:23 pm (UTC)I'm glad it carried the message to the reader...because it is rather sparse and repetitive and if you didn't hear any of the breathy dialogue you would be wondering what the heck I was going on about. But it struck me...he's trying to be heard...and yet...not be heard (because it gives too much away to the enemy).
Rae
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 07:29 pm (UTC)I'm so glad the parallel worked for you
Date: 2006-02-28 11:23 pm (UTC)Thank you for taking the time to feedback. It always makes me smile.
Rae
Re: I'm so glad the parallel worked for you
Date: 2006-02-28 11:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-28 08:02 pm (UTC)*sigh* Where to start? Well I suppose I should just say, I wasn't going to read this. I promised myself I wasn't going to read anything about LDYB, fic or just general speculation on promo pictures (hence not commenting at yahoo) but frak it, it was too tempting. Pfft, I can just not read anything starting now. ;) That said I really loved how you kept shifting the scenes in the story. It really gave the effect of time rewinding but at the same time there was a sense that something wasn't quite right. Just brilliant use of the 'could of said but not sure' Lee quotes and I really loved this. It was really angsty and hopefully it'll prepare me for the indefinate future of Lee and Kara.
*whispers*isminotaurgonnahaveanupdatesometime*whispers*
Pssst! *come closer*...*a few days*
Date: 2006-02-28 11:20 pm (UTC)Meanwhile, I had this little unbetaed drabble that I thought might corrupt...uhm...I mean tide you over. :-D Sorry, to hear I tempted you into reading some LDYB speculation. Not that this is REALLY speculation...as it has as much chance of happening as the Very Special Lee and Kara Wedding Episode has of starting S3.
Now that you have been corrupted though...thanks for the beautiful comments. I truly appreciate your insight. I did want the reader to have the sense of rewinding, of instability...as if this had happened over and over again and each time Lee had tried not to remember loving Kara and each time he'd failed. So it is tragic and yet...a little uplifting. Or at least I hope so...
Rae
Don't tweak the already tweaked ;)
Date: 2006-03-01 05:19 am (UTC)Betas taking their time? Pfft, they're the smart ones. Go straight to the source and get to refine it for general consumption. *beats jealously with Lee's towel*
And finally, the squee-age which is the true purpose of this reply to your reply. Heck frakking ya! Rae fix in a few more days. :)
I just re-read this comment. Please forgive me, today was rough.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-01 02:53 am (UTC)Thank you for the lovely feedback
Date: 2006-03-01 03:10 am (UTC)Meanwhile, there's this...thank you again for making my day a little brighter with your comments. You should feel the strong CH flashback...though the scenes are lifted from many places...I wanted to have that holding on and saying good-bye vibe we got there.
Rae
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-01 03:36 am (UTC)YOU ARE A GENIUS.
And can I just say....
Date: 2006-03-02 06:43 pm (UTC)Also, thank you so much for the genius compliment. I am preening now and annoying my companions. They thank you, too. :hee:
Rae
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-02 06:35 pm (UTC)Thanks, Lara...and dang...
Date: 2006-03-02 06:41 pm (UTC)Rae
thanking you for the lovely comments on my twisty ending.
Re: Thanks, Lara...and dang...
Date: 2006-03-02 06:48 pm (UTC)http://ladyoneill.livejournal.com/458681.html#cutid1
(no subject)
Date: 2006-03-05 12:41 am (UTC)Awww....thanks, DB
Date: 2006-03-06 04:24 pm (UTC)Rae
who is probably going to be disappointed in the BSG finale...since I'm told that it isn't surprising to my chat-mates. They are trying very hard not to spoil me and so gave me no details but they did say that we've already discussed what happens in the finale and we've worked out a way around it and I will be okay with it. So...it's not going to make my jaw drop in a good way anyway.