YEES. Finally some time to write something about this chapter. First of all, sorry for taking so long in commenting, I read it first thing when I saw you've posted it, but I couldn't get connection in my computer and writing comments in LJ little box on the phone is not the best of ideas. I mean, my english is enough of a sad story, I don't need to make it even worst.
And, just fyi, I've started reading Disheveled. In fact I am almost finishing it, but I barely have time to read, so I'll just read it again in order to comment every chapter separately; I have a lot to tell you about my reactions to that story, really.
I mentioned Disheveled because [spoiler, if anyone reading this haven't read it yet] of Rose's pregnancy and God, I'm glad you decided to do something like this again. I think we didn't get enough of Rose and Ten freaking out because, hey, they're going to be parents. In that storyline, things happened in a way that her pregnancy had to be over soon, so I was hoping to get more of them discussing this issues and just trying to get the idea to sink into their heads. I mean, I have no idea what you have planned, but it would be certainly nice to have them freaking out. [end of spoiler]
Which leads me to another thought: I loved the information/news overload. It's just amazing how you manage to wrap up millions of changes in only 4 chapters.The Doctor's body change, the new world, Jackie's presence (I am in love with you for that, no kidding), the TARDIS being gone, and everyone's state of mind... Really, you've done it all so nicely, smoothly, and... Ugh, you do have some serious talent for writing.
Something that caught my attention, specially, is how Rose is not a whinny teen anymore, here. I mean, she grew up a lot in the series, but what we see in here is finally her thinking as an adult. Or something like that. We get to see her very much in love with him, thank you very much, but having a different posture about it. She knows things changed, that she changed, he changed, and that they have a lot to find out about their new selves. That they where thrown in this situation is an aggravation, even more with her being pregnant and now Jackie's presence to make things even weirder...
And please. PLEASE. Don't take Jackie away so soon, I'm loving her interaction with the TARDIS duo. I mean, everything is so new for her, and so overwhelming. She's trapped in an alien world with no way out, with an alien and a daughter that's pregnant with said alien. And I love her dialogues with the Doctor. You wrote it all wonderfully. In fact all of the characterization is very truthful to canon, given the right necessary modifications.
I like how you give the reader the time and the means to adjust to this modifications and not just throw the informations all at once. And your narrative style. I just love it so much, I can't even. Ever so comical, yet serious; almost ironical.
Going back to the chapter: God, how much I loved Ten snapping at Rose. I don't even have he words to describe it. Just... ugh. And how Rose couldn't adjust to a new universe, no matter how much it was like her universe, how she always tried to find him, how she always tried to go back home.
Oh, please, make a girl happy and tell us all more about the different versions of him she'd seen. I always had this headcanon that she would find another Doctor in this other universe, so when you wrote it in I literally squeed in happiness.
There's so much I want to say, but I can't put my finger on them, now... So I guess I'll just leave what's left for a next chapter.
I'm really looking forward to read more. [And sorry about any assassination of the english grammar, it's been ages since I last wrote something in english.]
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Date: 2013-04-26 05:32 pm (UTC)And, just fyi, I've started reading Disheveled. In fact I am almost finishing it, but I barely have time to read, so I'll just read it again in order to comment every chapter separately; I have a lot to tell you about my reactions to that story, really.
I mentioned Disheveled because [spoiler, if anyone reading this haven't read it yet] of Rose's pregnancy and God, I'm glad you decided to do something like this again. I think we didn't get enough of Rose and Ten freaking out because, hey, they're going to be parents. In that storyline, things happened in a way that her pregnancy had to be over soon, so I was hoping to get more of them discussing this issues and just trying to get the idea to sink into their heads. I mean, I have no idea what you have planned, but it would be certainly nice to have them freaking out. [end of spoiler]
Which leads me to another thought: I loved the information/news overload. It's just amazing how you manage to wrap up millions of changes in only 4 chapters.The Doctor's body change, the new world, Jackie's presence (I am in love with you for that, no kidding), the TARDIS being gone, and everyone's state of mind... Really, you've done it all so nicely, smoothly, and... Ugh, you do have some serious talent for writing.
Something that caught my attention, specially, is how Rose is not a whinny teen anymore, here. I mean, she grew up a lot in the series, but what we see in here is finally her thinking as an adult. Or something like that. We get to see her very much in love with him, thank you very much, but having a different posture about it. She knows things changed, that she changed, he changed, and that they have a lot to find out about their new selves. That they where thrown in this situation is an aggravation, even more with her being pregnant and now Jackie's presence to make things even weirder...
And please. PLEASE. Don't take Jackie away so soon, I'm loving her interaction with the TARDIS duo. I mean, everything is so new for her, and so overwhelming. She's trapped in an alien world with no way out, with an alien and a daughter that's pregnant with said alien. And I love her dialogues with the Doctor. You wrote it all wonderfully. In fact all of the characterization is very truthful to canon, given the right necessary modifications.
I like how you give the reader the time and the means to adjust to this modifications and not just throw the informations all at once. And your narrative style. I just love it so much, I can't even. Ever so comical, yet serious; almost ironical.
Going back to the chapter: God, how much I loved Ten snapping at Rose. I don't even have he words to describe it. Just... ugh. And how Rose couldn't adjust to a new universe, no matter how much it was like her universe, how she always tried to find him, how she always tried to go back home.
Oh, please, make a girl happy and tell us all more about the different versions of him she'd seen. I always had this headcanon that she would find another Doctor in this other universe, so when you wrote it in I literally squeed in happiness.
There's so much I want to say, but I can't put my finger on them, now... So I guess I'll just leave what's left for a next chapter.
I'm really looking forward to read more.
[And sorry about any assassination of the english grammar, it's been ages since I last wrote something in english.]