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I hate fibro
May. 31st, 2010 07:20 pmLet me tell you why!
Unlike many other conditions, Fibromyalgia is a deceptive disorder. Usually, you feel crappy, but it can leave you, within a few hours of waking, feeling relatively normal. You ache a bit, sure, but doesn't everyone? The problem is that on these relatively normal days, no matter how good your resolve, you tend to do too much. I think I can do something ordinary...which I obviously cannot do...and that leads to trouble. My body and mind are not quite in agreement about just where the line that they shouldn't be crossing is drawn.
A week ago, for example, I had an appointment that was 35 minutes away from my home. I took someone with me as I know from long experience that I would not be able to drive back from the appt, due to pain, stiffness and exhaustion. But, on the WAY to the appointment, I am usually okay. This time, however, my body decided that my doctor was correct and I could only drive 15 minutes. This left me about 20 minutes left to drive when it started cramping up on me. I should have used my mind at this point...and pulled over, but I ignored my body's increasingly painful protests and kept driving. The result was that I spent the next 36 hours or so moving like a woman twice my age, shuffling along as I walked, constantly switching positions to find scant comfort and meeping in faint protest every minute or two. Also, on the very next day, when asked by a doctor why I was moving so slowly...I helpfully answered, "I hurt" instead of fully explaining. Full explanations were a little beyond me at the time, due to my mind now agreeing with my body that I had fibromyalgia.
But my mind was still getting me in trouble, as it decided I could make a music video from my sick bed, reasoning that my left arm and hand were not totally crippled. This further attempt to pretend that I was not chronically ill has led to me being pretty much useless for the last four days...with no end in sight. I tried to visit my sister with painful results. So painful and exhausting in fact that we had to cancel our Memorial Day outing to the park. So, here I sit...in need of a shower but not feeling up to lathering myself. I should at least turn on a light...but I would have to get up for that.
Rae
Unlike many other conditions, Fibromyalgia is a deceptive disorder. Usually, you feel crappy, but it can leave you, within a few hours of waking, feeling relatively normal. You ache a bit, sure, but doesn't everyone? The problem is that on these relatively normal days, no matter how good your resolve, you tend to do too much. I think I can do something ordinary...which I obviously cannot do...and that leads to trouble. My body and mind are not quite in agreement about just where the line that they shouldn't be crossing is drawn.
A week ago, for example, I had an appointment that was 35 minutes away from my home. I took someone with me as I know from long experience that I would not be able to drive back from the appt, due to pain, stiffness and exhaustion. But, on the WAY to the appointment, I am usually okay. This time, however, my body decided that my doctor was correct and I could only drive 15 minutes. This left me about 20 minutes left to drive when it started cramping up on me. I should have used my mind at this point...and pulled over, but I ignored my body's increasingly painful protests and kept driving. The result was that I spent the next 36 hours or so moving like a woman twice my age, shuffling along as I walked, constantly switching positions to find scant comfort and meeping in faint protest every minute or two. Also, on the very next day, when asked by a doctor why I was moving so slowly...I helpfully answered, "I hurt" instead of fully explaining. Full explanations were a little beyond me at the time, due to my mind now agreeing with my body that I had fibromyalgia.
But my mind was still getting me in trouble, as it decided I could make a music video from my sick bed, reasoning that my left arm and hand were not totally crippled. This further attempt to pretend that I was not chronically ill has led to me being pretty much useless for the last four days...with no end in sight. I tried to visit my sister with painful results. So painful and exhausting in fact that we had to cancel our Memorial Day outing to the park. So, here I sit...in need of a shower but not feeling up to lathering myself. I should at least turn on a light...but I would have to get up for that.
Rae