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Welcome to my automated little world! I suddenly realized, sometime late last week, that I never again have to go to the mall or fight the holiday crowds for my Yule Presents. No, I don't. Because I have the internet at home and the U.S. postal service is my Bitch. In this happy frame of mind, credit card in hand...I sat down at my keyboard and fired up the hardware for a blitz of last minute shopping.
Which is when I learned the joy of dealing with retail sales clerks. Yes, my friends, even ones just hired for the season. At least they can grunt and point you toward Housewares.
The internet shopping services, on the other hand, are a load of downloadable info-babble. Case in point: I was looking for something light and lacy in a size six...I tried Yahoo Shopping and thumbnailed my way through "Dresses, casual" and "Dresses, daytime" and "Dresses, designer" finding such treasures as blue knit baby booties and a men's camel and puce slicker coming up after a few pages of tiny little pictures offered me nothing close to what I was looking for.
Not to be detered I switched over to the cyber-equivalent of the Mall...Amazon dot com...there I kid you not...the cyber-equivalent of part-time holiday help greeted me with the following cheerful announcement:
Customers who wear clothes also shop for:
· Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
· Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
· Arm Warmers from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
· Cheetah Print Slippers from Amazon's Old Navy Store
· For a limited time get $30 to spend at Amazon when you spend $50 in Amazon's new Apparel Store! Limit one offer per household.
OoooKAY!
I edged away from the desk.
Really, I don't know what bothered me more...picturing the Amazon customers who DON'T wear clothes...or...imagining how I would look in the suggested outfit. Think about it people...there I am at the keyboard, bashing out new PWP as NIN pants through 9 versions of CLOSER TO GOD(Thanks to Nauti and the HeadTilt Sisterhood for installing the urge). Now picture me wearing nothing but my cheetah print slippers, clean underwear and arm warmers...
That's right...nothing BUT...'cause I'll be buggered if I'll wear those soddin' rain boots in the house.
Which is when I learned the joy of dealing with retail sales clerks. Yes, my friends, even ones just hired for the season. At least they can grunt and point you toward Housewares.
The internet shopping services, on the other hand, are a load of downloadable info-babble. Case in point: I was looking for something light and lacy in a size six...I tried Yahoo Shopping and thumbnailed my way through "Dresses, casual" and "Dresses, daytime" and "Dresses, designer" finding such treasures as blue knit baby booties and a men's camel and puce slicker coming up after a few pages of tiny little pictures offered me nothing close to what I was looking for.
Not to be detered I switched over to the cyber-equivalent of the Mall...Amazon dot com...there I kid you not...the cyber-equivalent of part-time holiday help greeted me with the following cheerful announcement:
Customers who wear clothes also shop for:
· Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
· Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
· Arm Warmers from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
· Cheetah Print Slippers from Amazon's Old Navy Store
· For a limited time get $30 to spend at Amazon when you spend $50 in Amazon's new Apparel Store! Limit one offer per household.
OoooKAY!
I edged away from the desk.
Really, I don't know what bothered me more...picturing the Amazon customers who DON'T wear clothes...or...imagining how I would look in the suggested outfit. Think about it people...there I am at the keyboard, bashing out new PWP as NIN pants through 9 versions of CLOSER TO GOD(Thanks to Nauti and the HeadTilt Sisterhood for installing the urge). Now picture me wearing nothing but my cheetah print slippers, clean underwear and arm warmers...
That's right...nothing BUT...'cause I'll be buggered if I'll wear those soddin' rain boots in the house.
